What Can We Do About Bullying?
On February 28th, KL staff, along with millions of others across the country, will participate in Pink Shirt Day. This National day of awareness brings to light the very real issue of bullying in our schools, communities and workplaces. 1 in 3 youth have reported experiencing bullying in the recent past; and the effects on our children are heartbreaking. Bullying can have long-term physical and emotional consequences including increased anxiety, poor performance at school, withdrawal from social and family life and even increased possibility of self-harm or suicidal ideation. As a parent, we want to help our children to be happy and successful – so what can we do about bullying? We got some tips from ERASE Bullying to share with you here:
If your child is being bullied
Choose an appropriate time to talk with your child – use open-ended questions, for example:
"What did you like the most about your day?"
"What was the most frustrating part of your day?"
Listen – let your child do the talking, encourage them to describe the bullying in as much detail as they can and document it
Make sure your child knows that it’s okay for them to feel the way they do
Paraphrase what you heard – this will help them feel understood and open to having help
Give them tips and tricks on how to handle bullying behaviour or how to resolve conflict in a non-aggressive way and show them how to get help
Act out a scenario and have your child confidently handle the situation
Create opportunities to make new friends – for example, enroll your child in different programs or activities
Encourage your child to stay away from anyone who shows bullying behaviour
Make sure your child knows that it’s okay to stand up for themselves, but it’s not okay to be violent or aggressive
If your child is exhibiting bullying behaviour
If you suspect or have been told that your child is exhibiting bullying behaviour, you need to take it seriously and address the situation in a calm, open-minded manner.
You should make it very clear that the bullying behaviour must stop immediately
Ask your child about their friends and what they do together
Find out if something is happening at school or at home that is causing them to act out
Ask open-ended questions to encourage them to open up
Paraphrase what you heard and have them take ownership over their actions
Set appropriate consequences
Get the School Involved
Work with your school to intervene in bullying behaviour and support the children involved. Schools have codes of conduct and policies to deal with bullying.
Set up a meeting with your child’s teacher, principal or school counsellor and give them the details of the incident. Ask them what their policies are for dealing with bullying and inappropriate behaviour and find out how they are going to address the incident and when.
Here are some questions:
How can we work together to stop my child from being bullied?
What steps will you take to investigate the bullying?
What type of disciplinary action would you consider appropriate?
What can I expect in terms of follow up and resolution?
What policies do you have in place that support children like mine, and discourage bullying and other violent behaviours?
Parents should stay connected and check to see if the situation has improved. If you don’t feel the school is taking your report of bullying seriously, you can report it to school district staff (e.g. safe school coordinator, superintendent). If you’re not satisfied with the school’s response, you can appeal the decision to the board of education. If that doesn’t resolve your concern, you can appeal the matter to the superintendent of achievement.
If you feel your child is not safe, report the situation to your local police and the school.
A version of this article this article first appeared in our Spring 2022 Newsletter